Sometimes I think God is testing me..

.. and I think Im gonna fail LOL. So much crap lately bla. Were so broke. Im so tired of being broke. When Jay works he makes great money, but the weather has been such shit lately that he hasnt worked consistently. This week he did, which was nice (except yesterday cause it rained!). Of course finances, among other things, are making us fight more. I hate fighting. Its horrible. I love the shit outta him but sometimes, I could just kill him (figuratively of course lol). I feel so bad, we have a friend going through a NASTY divorce. The custody battle brings tears to my eyes FOR him. I dont want us to end up hating each other. Bleck.

Anyway, I am OFF tomo! Woot! Sat is the 4th. Tonight we are going to the LI Ducks games (minor league baseball) and afterwards they have fireworks. This is AJ's first year hell actually GET whats going on. Im stoked. Tomo who knows what well do, hopefully Jay will have finished the job and we can do something (cheap or free lol) as a family. Then Sat weve been invited to a bunch of BBQ's. Well prob stop and Jess & Roger's then go to Aunt Sucas. Should be fun times. We were going to go out to Montauk, but we couldnt do it this weekend, so hopefully well get to go soon! Other then that things are ok. Im trying REALLLLYY hard to lose weight. Im on www.thedailyplate.com and Im tracking my calories everyday. Its a pain but it helps me realize moreso what I eat. For the most part I stay under, with the occassional slip ups, but my goal calorie intake is only 1189 which is pretty low (as per Jay). When I do go over, its not by much. Im DETERMINED this time to lose it! Sarah, your inspiring me too! Anyway, thats all for now, hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th! Dont forget to celebrate the soldiers that make this country free!!